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Thursday, November 03, 2005

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 15:25:58 GMT

---,-‘-@ The Dedicated Rose @-‘-,---

dedicatedrose AT yahoo DOT com

October 24, 605

“What’s the difference between Viscus Iceheart and the ship he rode in on?”

“One’s a rotting, hulking, ugly piece of junk full of undead seamen, and the other one is the ship he rode in on.”

-Clanegdin Alehammer of the Stonewood Dwarves

Welcome to Meddlar! (anybody got a donut?)

The weather in the newly-named Scarletton is dreary and dismal, with misty rains coating everything in a fine sheen of wet. An enormous number of adventurers have turned out for this gather, filling the streets with a bustling atmosphere. Most of the houses are full to bursting with visitors, leaving top space at a premium. The newly appointed good Baron Turiel arrives late, after purifying some of his land from the undead scourge, but arrives well and in-style.

Rumours, mostly true

The following rumours were gleaned from a traveling dwarf named Graven:

* Pirates have been burying undead and treasure

This rumour was proved true and false – two treasure maps were found, and both had directions to dig up many many leviathans, yet little or no treasure was found. Very funny, Viscus.

* A man with runes on his face had been seen lurking in the deathlands.

It is unknown whether this was true or not.

* The dark elves are starting a war with the “upworlders,” and Scarletton is to be their first topside stronghold.

The dark elves denied this vehemently – and believably. It would seem unlikely that dark elves would voluntarily create a living space topside.

* Commodore Viscus is weak on the full moon

Also unknown, as it was not a full moon this rumour could not be tested. However, it is known that Viscus, unlike many liches, does not have a bottle, and therefore, if he could ever be caught, would be a one-hit kill. This may have actually contributed to his longevity, since, having more to lose, he is possibly much more cautious and cunning than your average lich.

* There are evil elementals roaming around who want to kill all they see.

When is this ever not true?

* There is a faceless man out to kill people

True. More on the bogeyman later.

* The duke put Baron Turiel into Meddlar in order to have Viscus kill him.

Hopefully resoundingly false.

* Commodore Viscus is spying for the duke, using his undead and others as spies – why else has he not marched on the town?

Since he did march on the town – in a nasty and bloody battle – perhaps we can assume this is false.

* There are ghosts following an undead mummy.

If so, it was not reported having been seen.

* The Pirate Lich once worked for Mysh Tal Rae (or however you spell that anymore)

Not proven true or false – and who’s going to ask either of them?

How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little bogey in it…

The appearance of the faceless entity folks were calling the Boogeyman caused many a fright and scare. He entered cabins through the Wards and hid in closets, banging until someone came to investigate and then popped out and cast Arcane Fear on all nearby. The second of these incidents happened in the gypsies' cabin. The Boogeyman was seen entering the cabin in time to warn the Blackbirds. They found him in an upstairs bedroom closet and attacked him with several different types of attacks, but none affected him because he was non-corporeal. During this first battle he cast Arcane Fear only but later he also cast Wither and Taint Blood. During the gather many theories erupted of how to avoid or affect him. One person's theory was to sing him a song, another's was to show no fear and instead hug him, and another's was to hide under a blanket; his reasoning being that that is the traditional way to avoid monsters in the closet. When the hug theory was tested the person's limbs were withered before he could complete the hug. A direct account of the blanket theory was heard, and the person hiding was not attacked, despite being very close to the Boogeyman. In many cases, people without weapons, people showing no fear or people who simply walked away were not attacked. All in all, most puzzling and frightening, to the degree that many adventurers found themselves sleeping only fitfully in fear of the thing in their closet.

A brain seeking zombies?

A brain in a jar, found by youngling adventurer Flame, was seen in town, calling himself The Eternal. That’s right, it spoke, in a sense, though no voice was actually heard, everyone knew what it was “saying” in their minds. The thing seemed very self-assured of its own importance in the grand scheme of things, yet refused to give details about his person or where the rest of him went, and is perhaps a creature to be watched for in the future.

Oh, noble niman!

Early on the first evening, Baron Turiel was graced with a visit by a nimanese noble by the name of Lord Perrin Warsoval, sent on a diplomatic mission by Baron Vladimir Post of Niman. He had brought with him a large, compressed ball of air, known as a force elemental, which the Baron made sure was tied securely outside the baronial manor. Baron Post had received a letter from the previous baroness, and had sent Lord Perrin to investigate. They discussed a few things, such as the liches propensity to salt the earth, when the Baron seemed to remember himself and asked Lord Perrin for his writ. Lord Perrin shot back quickly, asking to see the baron’s writ, at which point Baron Turiel summoned his newly-appointed squire, Squire Mordock, to produce the copies of those writs. Due to some communication error, or perhaps solely that Baron Turiel has a lot of work to get his squire into squirely shape, Squire Mordock had failed to make copies of the writs, and such it was that the Baron had no proof with him of his own authenticity. Thus the issue of the writs was summarily dropped, without either party producing any at all. They proceeded to discuss old matters, such as the once prolific brood problem that had occurred in Meddlar, which the Baron assured the nimani noble that did not exist anymore (much to his surprise later was it that the brood was, indeed, a problem still).. Also, the noble asked for the right to deal with any criminal element he should encounter, should he be attacked in the streets (and a marvel that he wasn’t for relations with Niman are tenuous at best, considering that their slaving and undead practices are illegal within Elysia).

As to the force elemental tied up outside the manor, such had been captured and enslaved, and Lord Perrin had brought it as a gift in order for the town to practice killing it, since at the time it was not known how to dispense with one.

That’s the spirit!

October is the month for hauntings, it would seem, and no place more haunted than this past gather. Spirits of every sort, from young and sweet to old, hoary and evil. Some examples of spirits: A few gypsies were so possessed as to be compelled to play twister with Clanger of the stonewood dwarves, for some unfathomable reason, unknown even to Clanger himself. A young child possessed Ash, and the spirit’s sister possessed a new adventurer by the name of Corea, and together they sought out their mother. Though the spirit of their mother was in fact a horrible banshee, the spirit children were delighted to find her, and managed to quell the banshee’s screams as they all vanished together. Robin was also subject to some spirits, one that of a tavern wench who danced for coin (it is said that Markus managed to take some magic moving pictures of this event), and the second tending towards the dark and the macabre, a spirit who forced Robin to hurt herslef until she passed out from the pain. She awoke to find the spirit gone, along with one of her horns. It is unknown if and when it will grow back. Yet another adventurer found himself possessed by an evil spirit, a captain, which demanded his own boat. After being escorted to the water, he found the provisions unsatisfactory and turned on Captain Jalini, felling her quickly. Guildmaster Kymri found himself in a state of fury, since so many of these spirit problems somehow ended up in the guilds’ lap. All in all, though full of adventure and curiousity, the spirits ran the gamut and ran circles around the poor, weary adventurers.

Be vewy vewy quiet, I’m hunting treasure

At least two treasure maps were uncovered this last gather, one of which was sold to Captain Jalini, who found it to be a treasure map to more or less nothing at all. Whatever was buried was obviously of so little value that she simply gave up in disgust. The second map, purchased from a goblin named General Girard, yielded no treasure but lots of buried corpses, thus proving one of the rumours given by Graven to be true. The small group who chose to explore every mark on that map only found leviathan after leviathan, and though out of dogged greed they never gave up hope of uncovering something useful, all they uncovered was a string of difficult and tiring battles. It was well into the morning before every X had been discovered and the group retired with naught to show for their efforts.

The misadventures of the general goblin

Traveling through town, selling soggy, nasty mouldy papers he had fished from the lake, came a goblin, General Girard, a leader of goblin troops that had been cruelly cut down by a scavenger and his dwarven friends. Amongst those papers fished from the lake were several interesting pieces of information, letters to and from Viscus and other various mysterious figures (such as the hitherto unknown Dr Kattaver), a treasure map, a rejection notice to Viscus that his Ghouls Gone Wild subscription was to be cancelled due to being paid in illegal tender, and other various sundries. This goblin, himself, though was looking for a sign; no, not a signal from the Fates of what he should do with his life, but the sign for his village, one labeled Goblin Gulch. He claimed the elephant scavenger had stolen it, and for its return was willing to trade a shovel (a useful item given the proliferation of supposedly buried treasure in the area).

Sometime later that elephant scavenger made his appearance (one by the name of Titus), and with him he carried the sign, but demanded a wyvern egg as payment for its return. The adventurers, had considered simply incapacitating Titus and taking what belonged to the general, yet decided instead to be obliging. After a long trek through the woods, they were passed up by a screaming band of goblins, with one goblin shaman holding an egg nestled under his arm. The reason for their flight soon became apparent, as a wyvern floated past, hunting down its stolen egg. Seeing no need to deal with the wyvern directly, the adventurers simply chased down the goblins, stealing the egg and bolting back to town, leaving the Johnny-come-lately adventurers to deal with the wyvern. Further deliberations on ways to acquire the egg were abandoned as a few of the group realized caring for a wyvern would likely be more trouble than its worth, they gave Titus his egg, who gave them the sign, which was carried around for the rest of the day, waiting for the general to come claim it.

What color is a dark elf when the color leaves her face?

After many a chase and battle, a small group of common adventurers managed to return the Goblin Gulch sign to the goblin general, who kindly led them to his caves in order to retrieve the shovel. After battling nasty goblin hordes who had invaded his cavern (a opposing warring tribe, the general said), the adventurers eventually breached into the general’s personal cavern to retrieve the sword. They considered settling in for tea and cookies, when a strange chittering noise filled the cavern, and out from crevice and crack came an unsettling sight: Creepy-crawly brood advanced on the adventurers, swinging their claws and paralyzing what they could hit. Many of the group fled, but a fox scavenger by the name of Kyrsa was quickly felled. Those that fled brought back with them, surprisingly, a contingent of dark elves, who managed to rescue and heal the fox scavenger before even realizing what they faced. It was only when one of the original group told the elves they had been beset by lanky bugs that made a strange chittering noise (at which point she did a fair imitation of such a noise) that the dark elves turned tail and fled. Shimpan Tenuviel said it pointedly, “These are Darien’s lands, and this is Darien’s problem.” Speeding their progress was the appearance of an ugly, beardless dwarf in his smithing leathers, wielding mightily an axe nearly out of proportion with his figure. He first killed General Girard, as goblins and dwarves heartily dislike each other it would seem, and then as brood began to pour into the cave he defended the exit valiantly as each and every adventurer showed his or her true color and bolted out the door, and though the fight was likely amazing to watch, no one stayed to support him. It is unknown what precisely happened to that dwarf, but if his spirit moved on, may it rest in peace.

Commodore Viscus Iceheart places the blame for this infestation of brood squarely on the good baron’s shoulders. He claims that it was Baron Turiel’s purifying of the land that gave the brood a place to breed, and a viable life deep within the now-fertile earth and the soon-healthy livestock. He stated that if the land had been left as he had it – doomed, vile, lifeless and cold – the brood would never have had a foothold.

The new baron, when questioned about his plans regarding the brood, had this to say:

      “Brood infestations are nothing to be trifled with.

Our initial examination of the situation was that we

did not have the necessary forces in place for an

immediate solution, so we focused on containing the

infestation. Currently, Baronial troops are scouting

to determine the scope of the threat and are in the

process of containment. Specific plans are being

implemented to destroy the brood, but are classified

at this time. We are confident that we will, once

again, be able to repulse this threat.”

Murderers, thieves, Barons and hoblings

The hobling Pogo Styx and his newfound friend, Macaroon, daughter of toymaker Persimmon, approached the dark elf house, but apparently not cautiously enough. Perhaps because of rumours that the panther ghast that had previously plagued the dark elves was somehow caused or summoned by this trite little hobling girl, when Pogo and Macaroon knocked on the dark elf door, in hopes of purchasing a cup of precious bean juice to ward off the chill of the night, they were immediately beset. Macaroon was quickly paralyzed, and Pogo stepped back and only asked innocently what was going on, having no knowledge of any reason for such an attack. Despite being clearly unarmed and unprepared, he was killed, and then brought back from that brink of death for questioning by the baron, who was within the dark elf house at the time.

The baron was completely unable to determine any connection between Pogo or Macaroon and the panther ghast, and allowed them both to leave. However, for Pogo’s discomfort at being assaulted, attacked, and killed for doing nothing, the good baron kindly refreshed his magic armor and shield magic, and sent him on his way. It is possible that the baron was under the misconception that somehow Pogo had “started it,” or, as it were, attacked the dark elf first, but witnesses and Pogo himself both confirmed that his hands were in the air, and that he had stepped back and simply asked to know why his friend was being attacked.

The pumpkin king and the Harvest Queen

For their excellent work in the harvest ritual pumpkin carving contest, Kyrsa and Asheros were crowned harvest king and queen, and awarded the prize of gold, a crown, and a whole damn pie. It is unknown whether the newly crowned “royalty” chose to share their pie with anyone else, but rest assured it was most likely delicious.

Some hours before that, though, the pumpkin king was spotted in town, laughing it up in orange, but was most certainly struck down as a false ruler.

Pogo Styx, defender of the pumpkin

With the excellent work of several adventurers displayed beautifully outside the commoner cabin, the lure of pumpkins drew more than just awed onlookers. Sneaky, nasty little kobolds tried to approach stealthily, but the sharp eyes of the hobling Pogo Styx kept them at bay, as he valiantly and stridently kept the pumpkins from being stolen and smashed by the vile little creatures. All hail Pogo Styx, knight errant of pumpkin-keeping.

Baldours fence, and the title of Gatekeeper

A dwarf, who had earlier announced the auctioning of Baldour’s fence, finally deigned to come to town, visiting each cabin to inform everyone that the auction would soon begin. A small crowd gathered on the road in the encroaching darkness of evening, and the bidding began at a scant five gold. It peaked at 57 gold, with Robin the Fair clearly in the lead, and it would seem that it would be sold to her for such a small sum, but the dwarf stalled long enough that a few more bidders joined. The war began in earnest, and it reached the staggering sum of one hundred and sixty gold, for which it sold to Robin the Fair, and her two companions in this venture, Clanegdin Alehammer and Pogo Styx. Because Robin paid the greater part of the sum, the fence will reside with her between gathers, but it will not be surprising to see it in the hands of either Clanger or Pogo, since Robin herself cannot wield a shield.

“Honestly, I was just trying to drive up the price to make sure someone paid a proper amount of money for it. Unfortunately, my plan backfired when the dark elves caught on, and that someone ended up being me. Fortunately, I now have a sturdy little gate, should I ever care to build a quaint cottage around it.” -Robin the Fair

A rumour was heard that shortly after that dwarf received his 160 gold, he was cut down in a back alley by an unknown assailant, and likely everything of value was stolen from him, however, it is hard to say what actually occured because no sightings of him have been reported since.

We do not keep our hamsters in a force ball

One of the gifts brought from Niman was a force elemental, captured and slaved to the will of the Nimani noble. It was brought for inspection and experimentation, since the tough little buggers were difficult to kill. Although very little besides magic blows affected it, pins were effective against holding it in place, and in fact they made an excellent road guard, as they would attack anything that came near (with damage that went straight through armor and crushed bone and blood), thus actually aiding adventurers when undead skeletons wandered too near the force elemental.

The most unusual undead…

It seems that some liches will turn anything undead – very very late on the last night of the gather, a strange and peculiar pup was seen running through the woods. Fearing a lost pet, some adventurers chased after it, only to find it a walking corpse, some mangy-mix-breed mutt that did little but lead everyone on a merry chase before it was caught and brought to heel.

Dr Kattaver and his island of misfit toys

The hobling, Macaroon, in her joy at her newfound friends (mostly Pogo and whatever crew he had decided to join up with at that time), invited them all to return to some island in the lake and meet her father, Persimmon, the toymaker. Her friends, trusting the sweet girl, agreed, and were boated across a river by a strange boatman. The island they arrived at did contain Persimmon, but he had secured himself with the safety of a circle, as the rest of the island was infested with undead. Not wanting to explore a place where they were so clearly outnumbered, Macaroon’s friends swiftly departed with a treasure map, and spent the rest of the evening digging in the dark, cold woods, and still feeling safer than they did on that creepy island.

A panther, aghast

For unknown reasons (perhaps some dark elf cruelty, as it is rumoured that they had earlier destroyed an orphanage and killed every child inside) a panther ghast seeking dark elves was set upon the dark elf house. The fighting spilled into the streets as the dark elves battled it valiantly, but possibly because of their secular world view, no other adventurers not of the dark elf persuasion sought to help them. They did triumph, eventually, and while no one had to visit the circle, at least one or two dark elves were killed and barely saved in time.

That’s what we call a blanket beating

In a brief moment of ingenuity, a few adventurers found themselves forced to throw a blanket on top of one of the many floating skulls that had plagued them all throughout the day. This one had wandered in through an open door, and was bouncing around the inside of the commoner house. A few people threw a blanket on it, thus vastly impairing its spell casting abilities, dragged it outside, and simply ran their swords through the blanket until the skull dissipated.

Trifecta of the iron forge

Into town came a dwarf named Borch, who told adventurers of the undead within the fireforge that had killed his brother, and tortured him for two weeks. He pleaded with the town to help him, and this is what they found:

Hordes of icy undead had overtaken the fireforge, freezing the dwarves’ ability to make any decent sort of weapon or armor (as specifically noted by the sudden proliferation of nearly useless pieces of armor, and weapons adventurers found difficult to even give away for free). Very nearly the entire town that had amassed for this gather went to the forge to drive off the undead, and after splitting into two teams, they managed to slaughter almost all of the nasty, icy creatures. Yet, the forges needed re-lit, and to that end the dwarves again enlisted aide to traverse the trap-riddled dwarven caverns, first from the dark elves (who were recruited by some creature known only as The Eternal, who appeared as a brain floating in a jar of green liquid), who retrieved a fire crystal (and then refused to give it to the dwarves, demanding compensation in return), and then a second group traversed similar caverns in search of the second fire crystal, who, after handing over the crystal willingly, kindly, and happily (apparently feeling compensated enough by the strange proliferation of cookies, or “dwarf snax” throughout the maze), had the crystal returned to them after the dwarves had used it to relight the forges, and a third group released a fire elemental, who fully re-lit the fires. Good luck to the dwarves on improving their production value, now that they have the means and the tools to do so.

Fool’s gold

Prolifically throughout the gather was the appearance of gold dubloons, which were in no way any sort of legal money, but still made a fascinating discovery nonetheless. A letter purchased from a leery dwarf stated that if 75 of the dubloons were returned to Commodore Viscus Iceheart, a great reward would be waiting. As to who would trust a lich’s word, rumours of some adventurers considering the offer persisted, but there is yet to be any proof that anyone was able to actually visit Viscus upon his island. However, with the gather finished, it would seem the opportunity has passed, and the dubloons are now little more than collectable trinkets.

Paid advertisement: SMA seeks golden opportunity

Single Mystic Adventurer seeks golden dubloons – These shiny pieces have strangely fascinated me, though useless as real currency I will gladly trade for them. Please contact Robin the Fair, chef_jenny AT lycos DOT com, or simply come see me at the next gather in Elysia.

And the winner is:

We recently sponsored a story-telling contest, and though all the submissions were hearty and fascinating tales, the story submitted by Papa Lanesh was deemed the winner. His entry follows this report, after a special edition of an opinion column by Clanegdin Alehammer, which you may peruse at your leisure. Congratulations, Papa Lanesh, and hopefully the prize from the good Baroness Tynare will be satisfying to you.

Special thanks on contributions to this issue go to: Guest “Writer,” Clanegdin Alehammer, Papa Lanesh, Poisoned Thorn, Wren, Salamandar, and Leafy.

Questions? Comments? Please contact us at dedicatedrose AT yahoo DOT com. We would love to hear from you.

If you, also, would like to place an advertisement, or have an opinion you’d like to share, please also contact us at the above named address.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 15:25:17 GMT

THE DWARF’S GUIDE TO SCARLETTON

Dictated by:

Clanegdin “Clanger” Alehammer Bowerbane Chilox

Master Smith of the Away from Stonewood Stonewood Dwarves

Grand Master Wooer of Greyhorn

Scribed by:

Robin the Fair

(Editor’s note: The language proved too difficult to translate. If you are not proficient in the dwarven version of common, it is not recommended to try and read the following article. Additionally, this is an opinion article, and reflects no one’s opinions but those of Clanegdin Alehammer).

Have ya ever been sittin’ in yer fav’rite chair, drinkin’ a good, stout ale, chattin’ with one o’ yer good friends who ye haven’t seen in a good long while? That happened about three weeks ago when one o’ m’ old adventurin’ buddies, a fine hobling by the name o’ Pogo Styx, came a knockin’ at me door. We sat, drank, an’ shot th’ shite about ol’ times an’ adventures past. I ‘adn’t seen him fer about two years, th’ last time bein’ in Drackenhelm in Meddlar. Since there was a gatherin’ approachin’, he suggested we travel together back to Meddlar. “Sure,” I said, “why not? Meddlar’s un’er new management, so how bad could it be?”

Let it be known, any time someone says “How bad could it be?” it’s gonna be bad.

So, we start headin’ off t’wards Scarleton, which was formerly Drackenhelm, which was formerly Scarleton. Apparently, it’s a tradition in Meddlar t’ name, rename, then un-name towns. When we got t’ Scarleton, we met up wit’ th’ good lady Robin, whom I’ve already ‘ad th’ pleasure o’ adventuring wit’, an’ two other adventurers, Marcus, who’s skill with a blade is only matched by is only matched by his magical aptitude, an’ Shenron Kefka, a fellow warrior who’s capable wit’ a bow an’ arrow. Th’ weather was dreary an’ cold when we arrived, which matched th’ town perfectly, an’ stayed that way fer th’ entire gatherin’. Aside from ourselves, ‘ere was Cade an’ his gypsies, who I hadn’t seen in a long while an’ I’m glad t’ see are in fine health. No hooch, but it was good seein’ friendly faces, regardless. An’ let me tell ya, ya ‘aven’t lived ‘til you’ve played Twister wit’ th’ gypsies, hoo boy. In addition, there was Cap’n Jalini an’ th’ crew o’ the Abar… Adur… her ship, a house full o’ dark elves, an’ a good number o’ other adventurers who I ‘adn’t seen in a while. Fairly good company if’n ya ask me.

Then, th’ “festivities” started.

If ya like “different” undead, Scarleton would’ve been th’ place fer you this past weekend. We ‘ad fire skeletons, ice skeletons, lightning skeletons, zombie dwarves, zombie gnolls, zombie yippy dogs, zombie pirates who wanted to kill us, zombie pirates who wanted to apologize fer killin’ us, soft spoken spirits, possessin’ spirits, restless spirits, drinkin’ spirits, banshees t’ hug, disembodied floatin’ skulls, scare-happy bogeymen, leviathans buried in th’ sand, an’ a lich on th’ lake. I swear, I had t’ boil me axe five times t’ get it completely clean from all th’ rottin’ flesh I cleaved into. Though, if undead aren’t yer fancy, don’t worry, we had goblins, uppity kobolds, an’ th’ best of all: brood. Yes folks, that’s right, brood. Th’ acid filled bugs everybody loves t’ run from are nested only a few ‘undred feet from th’ town proper. If ya plan on stoppin’ over in Scarleton fer a few days, I’d suggest bringin’ a good pair o’ runnin’ boots. That or someone that’s slower than you are ya don’t really like.

Also, attention all murderers, killers, an’ slayers o’ th’ innocent, Scarleton is th’ place fer you! Apparently, Baron Darien has rewritten some laws in yer favor. Now, before I’m brought up on sedition, allow me t’ explain. M’ good friend Pogo met an’ befriended a young hobling girl by th’ name o’ Macaroon. Nice lass, daughter of a toy maker an’ cute as a button. She wasn’t even old enough t’ raise a dagger t’ defend herself, which is why Pogo, always th’ good-hearted gentle-hobling, was escortin’ her around town in th’ absence o’ her father. Now, fer some reason neither m’self nor Pogo are all tha’ sure on, th’ dark elves had it out fer Macaroon an’ her father. This fact was unbeknownst t’ young Pogo. However, th’ fact that th’ dark elves had a decent cup o’ coffee was knownst t’ young Pogo, so he an’ Macaroon knocked on their door in hopes o’ purchasin’ a drink.

Inside, the good Baron was discussin’ some matter wit’ th’ dark elves. Upon seein’ th’ girl, Baron Darien ordered her t’ be seized, which th’ dark elves quickly complied wit’, paralyzin’ her with alchemical gases. Pogo was told t’ back off, which he did. Hands in th’ air an’ nowhere near ‘is weapons, Pogo asked what was goin’ on. Then, he was cut down by one o’ th’ dark elves. Now, I’m no expert on dark elven culture, but apparently if you ask “What’s going on?” it’s a sign of hostility. For a people so bent on th’ tenets o’ honor, I’d think that you’d at least wait fer, oh I don’t know, a weapon t’ be drawn or a spell t’ be cast t’ indicate hostility. Thankfully, Pogo was healed before he needed a Life spell. In response t’ th’ attack, th’ Baron cast two protective spell upon young Pogo an’ sent him on his way. Yep, that’s it, two o’ th’ most insignificant o’ spells. Apparently, all you need t’ do T’ GET OFF SCOTT FREE FER KILLIN’ CHILDREN is simply ‘ave someone in authority cast some minor magics on th’ person ya killed. Heh, if I’d ‘ave known about this clause, I’d found m’self a mage and began assaultin’ people ages ago. However, I am a wee bit fuzzy on whether ‘r not ya have t’ be a dark elf t’ benefit from this new law, whether ‘r not th’ person needs t’ be alive when th’ spells are cast, an’ whether ‘r not ya c’n use other protective spells, such as “Bless” an’ “Shield”. So, while dark elves can clearly utilize this law t’ its fullest degree, I encourage all other races not t’ try this new policy, as I’m sure th’ law is in it’s infancy an’ needs a bit o’ reworkin’.

A bit later, Macaroon emerged from th’ dark elven house an’ told us o’ what happened inside. After they made Pogo leave, th’ dark elves, in all their honor an’ nobility, began discussin’ how they should torture th’ young girl. Again, I’m no expert on dark elven culture, th’ only one I’ve ever really known was some arse named Shadowfel Evernight, so maybe this is an acceptable custom in their lands. I’m quite sure that th’ “Dark Elven Book o’ Parenting” recommends at least one torture session by th’ age o’ 9, but I digress. After the dark elves used their scare tactics on th’ poor lass, Baron placed her under th’ effects o’ a Confine spell an’ proceeded t’ have an impromptu trial, questioning her an’ apparently chargin’ her with th’ crime o’ being’ an innocent. Exasperated due to th’ fact that th’ entire thing was ridiculous, th’ good Baron let her go. Pogo an’ Macaroon found me and, along with our cabin-mates, we brought th’ child back t’ her father, realizin’ that perhaps Scarleton wasn’t exactly th’ safest place for her. Again, why there was such a ruckus o’er a toy maker an’ his daughter is anyone’s guess. I assume that with Viscus slippin’ through the Baron’s fingers, he needed someone else t’ paint as a criminal.

Speakin’ o’ Viscus, that undead sack o’ crap, he needs t’ quit bein’ such a damnable coward. I come back t’ town after helpin’ out some fellow dwarves, which I’ll get int’ later, an’ I find out tha’ ‘Vicky’ skipped town without so much as showin’ his ugly, barnacle encrusted face. Let m’ tell ya, I’m astoundin’ly impressed by someone who just releases wave after wave o’ undead upon a town wit’out at least showin’ up t’ watch. It must take such a genius intellect t’ think o’ THAT plan. Maybe after he’s got tha’ one down, he can work on a more sophisticated plan, like, oh I dunno, hittin’ us with a really big rock. Now that would be a plan tha’ truly showcased his cunnin’. Oh, an’ in case ya didn’t realize, tha’ was sarcasm. Though, in a truly odd turn o’ events, I met Viscus’s “mighty” Death Knight, Arden. If ya don’t know who Arden was, jus’ ask anyone in th’ Healer’s Guild an’ they’ll tell ya; he’s tall, soft spoken, ‘as a quiet demeanor. He’s most easily recognized as th’ undead pirate who apologized fer killin’ us innocent people an’ told us he couldn’t stand bein’ a pirate under th’ command o’ such an evil schmuck like Viscus. Is it jus’ me, or c’n anyone else smell a mutiny a brewin’? Regardless, I hope that bucket o’ scuz sinks t’ th’ bottom o’ whate’er body o’ water he’s floatin’ on, that bilge suckin’ arse. I don’t even know what bilge is, but I’m pretty sure ‘at Viscus sucks it.

Ahem, pardon m’ digression. Now, where was I? Oh yes. Scarleton, despite it’s glarin’ problems, did ‘ave a bit o’ a bright spot; the dwarves o’ the Ironfist Forge are only a wee bit away from town, which meant I had plenty o’ good conversation wit’ some fellow craftsmen. We cleared out a few o’ their forges an’ helped t’ relight them usin’ th’ magical fire crystals we found. Nearly simultaneously, two groups went in search o’ th’ two fire crystals; a group o’ younger, less seasoned adventurers and a group o’ dark elves. When we went in search o’ th’ crystals, we braved a trap laden dwarven tomb an’ eventually found th’ fire crystal in question. We readily handed it o’er t’ th’ dwarves who relit th’ roarin’ flames o’ their Fire Forge, seein’ as how only th’ most crass, tactless, an’ rude sort o’ person would’ve tried t’ keep th’ fire crystal fer ‘emselves considerin’ how they were rightfully belongin’ to th’ dwarves in th’ first place. We were thanked by Tairn Longbeard on behalf o’ th’ dwarves o’ th’ Fire Forge an’ received some beautiful dwarf-crafted arms an’ armor as our reward.

All thing considered, Scarleton isn’t a TRULY ‘orrible place. Yeah, it plays host to throngs o’ vile undead, war-like goblins, an’ o’ course th’ brood, but on th’ bright side there’s… uh… umm… Ya know come t’ think o’ it, Scarleton sucks. I highly suggest any an’ every livin’, sentient creature pack up an’ move as far away from Scarleton or Drackenhicky or whatever it’ll be called tomorrow as possible. Trust me, it’s fer yer own good.

- Clanger Alehammer

Oh, an’ if anyone needs t’ reach me, whether it be fer praise ‘r fer death-threats, ya can reach me by sendin’ a missive t’ m’ spacious Stonewood villa; SprAmazd(at)Yahoo(dot)com.

Editor's note: We have enabled comments for this opinion article, so you may add your own opinion of Clanegdin Alehammer's experience.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 15:20:08 GMT

Bonifica,

Here ist a story dat actually took place years ago in Leesebaum. Belle an Erewan were members oft de aken Woodt from Cromley. Oft course, de part about de star ist chust to make de story a bit more fun. Dis ist a copy dat some scribe wrote down one time I was to tell de story, but it isn't de way dat I am to write. Darn Gadje!

Bonifica,

Lanesh Kaner

DOME

Merrick, Star of Wishes.

In the cold of winter, when the snow covers the earth so that it might hatch a spring, people come together to keep each other company and to keep each other warm. To keep each other warm they share their feasts and fires; to keep each other company, they share their stories.

On a night so cold that the snow grumbles under your feet, and the wind itself is frozen into place, and even the moon stays close to the sun to keep warm; if you venture from the warmth of the hearth and dare the peril of the cold, you may be treated to the most wonderful gift. For it is on these nights that the stars (who are not afraid of the cold at all) gather together to hold a "Shining Contest." And so it is that each of them puff themselves up, and push, and grunt, and groan until their cheeks are as hot as a white fire. And then they shine. So it is on these nights, you can see stars that you never thought were there at all. And looking up at them, you can't help marvelling and thinking that they're doing it all just for you.

Oh, you say, you didn't know that stars had shining contests, and talked to each other, and that they sleep when the sun comes out, and when they sleep, like you and me, they dream. And what does a star dream? And what could make the dreams come true? Because, if you're a star, you can't just wish upon a star like everyone else does, it doesn't work for them like it worksfor you and me. No, stars have a different way in which their dreams come true. And here is that tale.

Her name was Belle, and golden was her hair, like the first rays of the sun at the dawn of a beautiful morning. And so was her sunrise into the small village of Stonewood. Whenever she walked, it was as if Tyrra itself would move to breathe deep the fragrance of her loveliness. In her hands she carried a bow, on her back a quiver of arrows, on her face, an expression of single-mindedness. She had journeyed from her home in the Elven forests in search of the Elven lords of Cromley, the Brotherhood of the Oaken Wood.

She had heard of their deeds of bravery and valor and sought to first learn from them, and then perhaps in time, to be proven worthy enough to join them. And so she set about the task of proving herself.

Perhaps it was harder for one blessed with beauty, for a man can overlook many faults when he thinks from his heart and not his head. And Belle was proud. So she threw herself into her training, seeking to be accepted for what she could do rather than how she looked. Belle watched the masters of the Oaken Wood, noticing the style and grace with which they fought. She studied their battle strategies, the way they worked together. One thing she knew they lacked, the ability to engage their foes from a distance.

Thus she proved her point in the first skirmish they faced together. Straight was her aim and powerful the strikes from her arrows that many beasts fell before the proud warriors had chance to swing a blade. It

Was then that Belle knew she'd have a place in the Brotherhood. She had got their attention.

One day, not long after she had entered Stonewood, there was talk of a Wyrmm that plagued a nearby village. Belle chose to accompany a band of adventurers in search of the Wyrmm in order to destroy it. But, somehow they had gotten lost along the way and found themselves in a strange land with strange smells and strange powers. Their path led them to what seemed to be an invisible door; all could see on the other side but there was no way to get through.

"I will let you enter if one of you plays my game." came a voice. They looked around but there was no one to be found. "I will let you enter if one of you plays my game." "Speak of this game." responded Belle,

"What game is it that you seek to play?"

It was a word game, and she would be the one to play. The stakes were simple to understand. If Belle won the game, all would be allowed to progress, however, if she lost, they all would get through the barrier,

But Belle would lose her soul. Now I must remind you of the seriousness of the wager. For when a person's soul has been taken from them, there is no will for the spirit to journey back to the land of the living. To lose your soul is to give up hope of resurrection. For any one, this is a sober thought, but for an Elf whose way it is to live a long and complete life, it is more than a sacrifice it is almost sacrilege.

The game was simple, name an animal that would defeat the one chosen by your opponent. "Ant" offered the voice. "Wasp" countered Belle. "Bird" spoke the voice. "Cat" responded Belle. "Dog"-"Wolf", "Bear-Lion",

"Sarr...Sarr" spoke the voice. But Belle could not think, it was as if her mind was frozen in place, perhaps it was an enchantment, perhaps it was so unexpected. "Sarr" boomed the voice. "What defeats a Sarr?" No answer.

The others looked in horror as the color in Belle's face began to fade, some shaking there heads in disbelief that she would loose. Some quietly blessed their luck that it was not they who would loose their soul. "Hah, your soul is mine, elf-maiden. You lose! You may now all enter."

However, never did they find the Wyrmm, perhaps it was all a trick of the Infernal Creatures who sought to entertain themselves like a child with a toy. And so it was that with luck they found their way back to

Stonewood and the relative safety of the village. Quietly, Belle walked through the woods, alone, stunned in her grief, her heart bearing the sadness of her loss. Perhaps she would just continue to walk into the woods like a man might simply walk into the ocean never to return.

But then it was that she learned the most important lesson of all: she decided to seek help from others, she would not bear her grief alone. A lesson so few learn. She turned her steps toward the quarters of the

Brotherhood of the Oaken Wood.

When she came upon Sir Erevan, Knight of the Brotherhood, she bared her heart to him. "Follow me." he said as he took her to a small circle of trees. They stepped inside and it was as if they were taken back to their Elven Homeland. So beautiful was the place. The moss hung down from the trees and glowed a soft green in the dark. The smell of a thousand pine trees, and fresh rain, the sound of raindrops splatting against fat leaves, but never did one get wet. It was as if each sense was raised to its fullest.

It was a place to make the heart happy. At first it calmed her, but then she thought of what she would miss and her grief found its way once again to her eyes.

Now I don't have to tell you what it does to a man to see a woman shed tears, especially a woman as beautiful as Belle. And I don't have to tell you what it does to a man such as Sir Erevan to witness this. He would relinquish his Knighthood, his wealth, even his honor, to remove a woman's pain. Such is the way of a man whose head is so easily turned by a skirt.

They left the magic of the Elven Circle. He knew what he would do. Through the village they walked until they came to a big open field, they sat down on the ground and looked up at the stars shining in the summer sky.

And so it was that Sir Erevan laden with sorrow for one of his own, his Oaken Wood - equal to equal; so it was that Sir Erevan in respect for one so skilled and brave, his fellow warrior - fighter to fighter; and so it was that Sir Erevan adoring the splendor of one so beautiful, his light - man to woman, removed a pendant from around his neck. Turning it in his hands, he looked into the sky and found a star, shining brighter than the others, then he spoke the words that would release the enchantment and release the only wish that it held. His words were simple, "I wish for Belle to regain her soul." A knight might call it duty, the thing expected, but a man may call it love, a gift given. And so it was that a wish was made on a starry night in Elysia.

And so it was also that a star's wish had been granted as well. Now we all know that the first person to wish on the first star of the night is granted the wish. But the stars are different. You see, the stars say among themselves that if you wish on the first act of love that is done after the sun sets, your wish will come true. And so it was that when Sir Erevan wished upon the star, Merrick, there was another star, one barely seen in the sky, a star that always came in last at the shining contests, a star that may not have been so bright but was quicker than the rest, so it was that a star's wish was granted. And somewhere in the sky behind Sir Erevan, a star fell quietly to the earth. It was his wish to walk on the earth as a man. And so my friends, if you happen someday upon a man whose cheeks glow white instead of red. Tell him the tale of how love brought him to earth.

And there also fell from the sky, three Ravenholt gold, one for me, one for the storyteller, and one for the person who has entertained you.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 14:25:58 GMT

Be it known that on Saturday, September 17, 605 the following noble changes were enacted for the Duchy of Elysia.

Baron Talorin Coreel of Simoondale has retired.

Baroness Ashley Alora Van Dier of Meddlar is reassigned as Baroness of Simoondale.

Lord Torin Redwolf Capelanus will continue to serve Baroness Alora in her new post.

Lord Darien Turiel is elevated to the position of Baron and is assigned to Meddlar.

Lady Tinare Van Sheldock is elevated to the position of Baroness and is assigned to Woodhaven.

Sir Ekhimo Galanodel is elevated to the position of Ducal Knight.

This is my will.

Kinnel Kohlmwyn

Duke of Elysia

September 18, 605

The gather of September:

We arrive to again more beautiful weather (an eerie occurrence in its rarity, cherished but suspect), and marvelous expectations of the feast of the guildmaster of the celestial guild, Kymri Ramishk. A spectacular number of people have come out for this long-awaited event, and the town is practically full to bursting on Friday night, with more expected to show up on Saturday morning. Not only were adventurers there in numbers, but also in diversity, for in addition to our usual plethora of elves, humans, and scavengers, the Dark Elves turned out in no small numbers, and also noted was not only a stone elf (how rare!), but also the purple-hued distant cousins of our local mystic wood elves, two knights of deep mystic wood elf origin.

Some enchanted evening:

A horde of clockwork constructs poured forth from the woods, initially in a brutal onslaught of creaking, groans, and grinding gears. The adventurers had difficulty banding together and creating effective formations, but this state was later remedied by the local nobility, and the clockworks were thoroughly disassembled.

Monkey in the middle:

A few of the younger adventurers were conscripted by a merchant to help drive off orc marauders so that his caravan would have safe passage (the less seasoned adventurers being either more expendable or cheaper to hire, it is guessed). They performed both brilliantly and valiantly, as they came upon the orcs unmercifully teasing and taunting a kobold, who ran off into the woods when the adventurers broke up the orcs’ spite-party, only to return and effect run-by waylays to a few adventurers, who were knocked unconscious, but briefly. However, the adventurers’ triumph was inevitable, and complete, and no one suffered a single loss of life or limb in the venture.

Origins:

A nervous, young, stuttering gentleman by the name of Master Taren gathered a group of adventurers (consisting notably of Mistress Ambra, Mistress Gwendolyn, Captain Jalini, and young Trvgr) to explore and clear out a complicated and ancient ruin that had a small and easily crushed infestation of clockworks. Scattered across the floors of these ruins were scraps of papers gathered by the adventurers but unknown if ever assembled or what it contained. Also embedded within these ruins was a multi-level cavern that descended deep into the earth. On the very first tier of this cavern, the leader of the band (A brave elf whose name has been lost to the record), charged valiantly into the cave, only to set off an explosive trap that knocked him back and burned away everything flammable on his person (no note on whether he’d miss his potions or his eyebrows more). Within this cave was a host of clockwork beasts gathered motionlessly around a corpse, until any adventurer tried to enter, at which point the clockworks moved aggressively. The adventurers dismembered the machinery, only to find the corpse had died a rather permanent and irrevocable death. Upon descending further into the cave, down a set of roughly carved and anciently worn steps, they encountered more clockwork constructs, a formidable force which this band found insurmountable in their current state, and the group fled back to town to regroup.

At this point, the good Baroness Tinare (not yet elevated to this position), took charge of a large group and eradicated the clockwork threat. She managed this without the resurrection of a single adventurer, and she credited the support and teamwork of all the warriors she had with her to this feat.

Good Morning Feastgoers!

A day of festivities and joy, and all without the interruption of unplanned fighting or terrifying creatures (again, a moment of respite cherished but suspect). The tourneys were fantastically entertaining, but there were far too many and far too much going on unfortunately to relay a play-by-play of each of them. However, Master Kymri kindly posted the winners of each on the fae trees, a listing that we are choosing to re-print here:

3 touch

1st place: Boots ( Arcannon)

2nd place: Squire Lee

Caster

1st place: Baron Mikael

2nd place: Lord Zeal

3 on 3 shadow

1st place: Squire Ethir, Lord Zeal, and Baron Mikael

2nd place: Glenn Stormwolf, Sorin, and Zartax

Ring Challenge: Lord Zeal

Capture the flag

Won by Captain Decoy and his team

Decryption

1st place: Celeste and Perion

2nd place: Dancer

Table Dressing

Baroness Tinare's Woodhaven table

Scavenger Hunt

1st place: Ash and Flame

2nd place: Ambra and Gwendalyn

Congratulations all!

(As a side note, Baron Turiel also hosted a poker tourney. For more information on the results of that tourney, please see the fae trees where it is posted)

And may we be blessed, every one:

The feast, oh to do justice to the feast. All people turned out in their finest gear, a veritable parade of beautiful women and well-dressed men of every persuasion, only out-matched by the marvelousness and deliciousness of the food. It truly was a fantastic tribute to Master Kymri and all his long years within Elysia.

Lost and not found:

Captain Jalini spent much of the day and the ensuing evening searching for the mighty Prince’s shield and code, a quest given to her by the kingdom knight Sir Talasar, lost by the Prince’s squire. She met with no success, unfortunately.

“I’m a brownie! I’m delicious!”

A comely and spritely young brownie hovered near the edges of town, dejected and droopy with a withered wing and a plea for help. Though terminally shy, she encouraged a band of adventurers to follow her into the woods, into a garden slated to be tended to for the Green Man. The brownie, one Mossyfern Greenglade, hoped to acquire greater fae status, but needed the garden cleared of some wicked trees and doombushes and other nightmarish plants. Many people turned out to investigate, and being fully loaded with spells that were unused throughout the days festivities and feasting, they unleashed upon these terrifying creatures, obliterating them within minutes. Especially handy were those with resistance to poisons, as these plants attacked the immune systems immediately.

The Final 9

Late into the night, the town fought an army of orcs of the Bloodfist Clan, numbering in the thousands. The majority of the town lived due to the valiant efforts of those being called the Final 9. These brave warriors include Baroness Tinare of Woodhaven, Squire Lee, Kingdom Squire Mythrin Lightcage, Alatar of the Golden Unicorns, Ducal Lord Dathras, Baron Mikael of Adron, Ducal Knight Sir Ekhimo, and Shadow Dragons Toran and Gwendalen. This group helped take out a third of the army’s high ranking officers and held the front line, while others made their way to safety. However, wars are not fought without casualties. Lee, Mythrin, and Gwendalen died this day defending the lands that many call home. Their actions are commendable, and though many were only doing their noble duties which they swore to fulfill, three of these nine are not of the peerage and deserve the same recognition for their loyalty to Woodhaven and Elysia. And, cruelly, both Squire Lee and Squire Mythran were brutally robbed during the resurrection process.

People and Places:

Master Perion arrived in good form, sporting a fancy new gold star on his fae-mark, received in the glade of the Green Man for exemplary work.

One of the other resurrections to occur during this gather was sadly an unfortunate accident during the Capture the Flag game, whereupon one of the deep mystic wood elves forgot to lay on only pretend swings and swung much harder, accidentally killing one of the very young adventurers.

SPECIAL REPORT: The burning question of the burning plague:

In March began the onslaught of the Burning Plague in its new mutated form, those infected by contact with the skull of an elven child including Squire Lee, Shimpan Tenuviel, Hanou, and Krossus. Both Lee and Tenuviel had been infected by contact with a carrier of the disease, and because Krossus is a dwarf he does not feel the symptoms, but is still capable of spreading the disease as a carrier. Though only those of elven descent are affected by the plague, anyone can be a carrier. It seems that those resistant to poisons and disease are not affected by the plague, and that because it is transported possibly by touch but definitely by blood, many have taken to wearing gloves during their adventures to avoid capturing this ill disease.

In may, Squire Lee dealt with a fae, trading for a cure, but the fickle fae chose only to cure Squire Lee, instead of revealing a cure that could be used for all. Hanou entered into a later stage of the plague called “Blood Rage,” where he was overcome with a desire for murder and destruction, and only through rampant killing could his lust be satiated and some semblance of sanity returned to him. He was watched carefully by the shadow dragons, and harmed no one, but was harmed himself in a fierce battle on the porch, and upon his death Blasé aided him, bringing him to consciousness, but unfortunately infecting himself in the process.

Baron Turiel (then Lord Turiel), upon seeing the terrors this plague could effect, issued a quarantine for all of Woodhaven and Cromley, and began investigations into the disease. Baroness Tinare (then Lady Tinare) also sealed the Oaken Wood borders.

July: In Adron, a contingent of undead harboured the infected skull of an elven child (see Those Things are Bad For You in the July issue of T.D.R.). Baron Mikael, through contact with that skull, became a carrier of the disease, and all elves within five feet of the skull became ill for half an hour, at which point the feeling passed and they were found not to be infected. Baron Mikael, through thorough washing, was also able to rid himself of the disease, thus emphasizing the need for proper hygiene during plague times such as these.

Shimpan Tenuviel encountered a life knight, and took it upon herself to discuss her condition. Though the life knight could not provide a cure, he did confirm it was a mutated version of The Burning Plague, and that it is inevitably terminal. Tenuviel has stated that since she has gone through the resurrection process, she is no longer infected.

Lastly, the hordes of orcish undead that poured through the adventurers at this most recent gather, led by a fierce and strong spirit that had risen from the tomb only to summon his army to destroy the town, had been heard shouting “Blood Rage!” as they rained screaming death down upon the adventurers. Whether or not this is related to the Burning Plague as we (barely) know it is currently being investigated.

Special Thanks to members of the Fellowship of the Rose, including Leila Verde, Salamander, and Poisoned Thorn for their contributions.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 17:12:29 GMT

--,-‘-@ The Dedicated Rose @-‘-,---

dedicatedrose AT yahoo DOT com

We apologize for the brevity of the following report. At this time, we cannot always assure the depth and accuracy of our information. If you wish to add detail about the events of the last gather, you are welcome and encouraged to send missives to the above address.

Woodhaven at last: Finally free of Adron, many adventurers find themselves relieved to be in the (nominally) safer barony of Woodhaven. A beautiful weekend greets them, with only one severe shower late in the afternoon on the second day. A full moon lights the night, keeping the fields bright with the silver-soft glow of reflected sunlight, shining down like the eye of a demon in the sky, keeping the paths bright so long as the clouds remained far on the horizon.

Moonhowlers: Some occurrences of werewolves were seen throughout the nights, however it is unclear as to their purpose and nature, as if they were only there to illustrate the fullness and brightness of the silver moon.

It’s not easy being green: The last gather was host to black trolls and some of the normal sort of goblins and trolls that we usually see at many gathers. Late in the second day, a horde of orcs had thieved some oaken elf babes, only to murder them in bloody sacrifice. A group of adventurers came to the rescue, and managed to revive the tiny newborns, and obliterated the orc town. The children were eventually safely returned from whence they came.

Are all farmers bad news? A farmer did come in to town asking for help from younger, less seasoned adventurers (the general theory being that older adventurers would know better than to go anywhere near a farmer who is asking for help). His vegetable garden had become quite overgrown and unruly, and it was up to the younger adventurers to tame the wild vegetables. A carrot was brought into town for tasting, but was deemed quite bitter and unpalatable.

Tick-Tock winds the clock: A lone adventurer was captured by some wayward clockwork beasts, who were followed to their lair before they turned on the would-be rescuers and nearly destroyed them. However, a few brave souls escaped and returned with more help. By the time back-up had arrived, that first captive had already been converted into a clock-work creature himself, yet he was shortly restored to full living and breathing function, as soon as the beasts of metal and magic were dismantled.

You can always use a little more Pepper: Amidst the battle and back-breaking labor, a spot of rest could be had at the Pepper Pot Tavern, where for an extremely modest sum adventurers were served both breakfast and a late lunch. Though she handled service without disruption, Pepper’s initial kitchen crew had consisted mostly of a Most Annoying Goblin Brigade (Annoyances included: Pretending to be able to read, whizzing on everything, claiming outrageously to be the "Best Goblin Evar," and generally being a nuisance). Yet, a slight benefit to the appearance of this raucous and uncouth crew was the rousing of early-rising adventurers, who soon rid Pepper of her pests. Forthwith from that point Pepper gratefully and happily served all adventurers of all creeds and color, assisted by her mate, Sal.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 15:14:00 GMT

---,-‘-@ The Dedicated Rose @-‘-,---

dedicatedrose AT yahoo DOT com

Return to Southgate!

The town has changed little since last we visited here only a month ago, still a bustling hub of building activity. The tavern lies silent without keep, but is open to weary travelers still. It is a wild and savage frontier, the surrounding swamps encroaching menacingly, a place for only the bravest of adventurers.

Creatures of the night:

Monsters ruled the even-tides, the vampires strutting across the open woods as if they owned the place. Yet, still not nearly the horde of vampires from before, which may or may not be related to the absence of a significant number of gypsies at this gather. We are visited by ogres, also, still severely angered over Baron Mikael’s insistence on maintaining the greenlaws.

A cave opens up just outside the town, infested with worms and hook horrors, but valiantly stamped out by the likes of Drakis the WormSlayer.

I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain:

Fire and water seemed to be the themes of this gather, beginning with Fire Serpents – a many segmented snake-like monster of extremely large proportions alive with burning. The tail snaps with poisoned flecks, spraying onto any who stray too near, and from the head issues searing flames to consume any who stay too long. Yet, though you can kill it segment by segment from the tail up, if you destroy that firebreathing mouth the entire beast falls down dead.

Rosalyn and the curious relationship of her husband and sister:

A girl named Rosalyn fled into town, terrified because her poor sister had been captured by ogres – and her husband who had gone to rescue her had yet to return. It was only the virtue and fortitude and ogre-killing skills of a band of adventurers that rescued them both, much to everyone’s satisfaction.

Angry Ogres:

The second theme of the weekend seemed to be: How many wars can we start in two days? The first horde upon the hill was wave after wave of ogres – hundreds of thousands of them seething massively on the field, bristling with anger, spite, venom, magic, malice, and above all, brute strength. Though nearly every adventurer tried to stem the tide, many fell in the heat of battle. Yet, they were not alone in the struggle, for lizardmen could be seen running through the field, striking down dead the malicious ogres, and then, when the horde had swept past the adventurers, leaving many dying and bleeding in the field, it was lizardmen, too, who healed them and helped them to their feet.

In the end, the ogres resorted not only to strength of arms and small might of magic, but by launching boulders into the groups of adventurers, which smashed many, but a few others were nimble enough to dodge.

A superstitious and cowardly lot:

And then to wander into town, scavengers of strange origin. A cat-woman, a penguin, seeking what? It’s hard to say. Wolves accompanied them, snapping and growling, but doing no harm, until they began to attack the scavengers themselves. Before their tussling could do anyone any harm, one miserable adventurer attempted to calm the wolven beasts with a soft blow to the head – the blow failed, and indeed seemed to enrage the scavengers, who then decided to attack the town.

In fact, though hard to place, there seemed to be a theme of villains too – including a Joker, a Harlequinn, a Green Goblin or two, Poison Ivy, the Riddler, and so on. So much so, that Captain Decoy felt compelled to secure his bat sigil to his chest, pronouncing himself the Batman and eternal enemy of such fiends. Alas, Robin chose not to leap to his aide.

Moss gives treasure:

On a briefer note, a patch of moss clinging stoically to a tree was hacked apart by many adventurers, only to reveal a nest of treasure beneath.

Of Airships and Men:

Three pale humans of mystic and exotic origin came to town, by the names of Arial Trillian (most noted by the silver and blue diamond around her eye), Arthur Sandeep, and the third whose name has been lost to the record. They claimed to have crashed a “ship” of some sort, but their descriptions of exactly what this ship did and where it came from were incomprehensibly bizarre. However, their needs were simple: recover the lost or stolen items that had disappeared when their “ship” crashed. The list, as follows:

A sail

A ball bearing

A bell

A cannon (and to quote Captain Jalini – “Cannons are good.”)

A stonewood stick

A lantern

A captain’s mug

No easy task, this, it fell to a co-op of adventurers to gather every last item, as seen throughout the long weekend.

Barbarians!

Welcome back, Gordak, an omni-present barbarian who seemed to cling to town excessively – perhaps avoiding the rest of his all-male tribe of the Summer Heat?

Robin’s New Best Friend:

Barbarian girls need help too – Lora and Corlene of the Rising Sun tribe sought women adventurers, for their sacred fishing hole had been violated by an unclean visitor. While this sounds like some sort of poetic female metaphor, it was literally true, and as Robin, Crow, and Captain Jalini soon found (after an obscenely long hike deep into hidden woods and mysterious vales) the small yet fresh fishing hole was indeed entirely taken up by a complete stranger – Marlin, a scaled fish-person, sitting most dejectedly in what was, for him, a very wet puddle. Though he seemed disinclined to move at all, and though the girls were very easily distracted by the delights of the nature around them (Robin being a mystic, after all, and Jalini being a woman of the woodland-persuasion herself, though it is admitted that Crow chose to watch impassively, and probably laughingly as they chased salamanders and crayfish through the muck), Robin eventually convinced him that he was indeed loved, even if by no one else but her, and upon promises of a written letter every week, he chose to join these female companions back into town. The barbarian girls, in their eternal gratefulness, chose to reward these women handsomely for their time and trouble.

Outside the Asylum:

Though insanity abounds in most gathers of adventurers such as these, someone had the foresight to set up an actual nuthouse for people to visit – although it is hard to say where exactly the crazy people were, those locked up safe on the inside or those roaming outside subjecting themselves to the savagery of the monsters and the elements. Exactly the purpose of that asylum or what occurred there went unfortunately unrecorded.

Speaking of Elements:

A bunch of flaming humanoids decided to visit town – with decidedly ill intent. They threatened to burn the town, which admittedly still looked like nothing but a pile of kindling, being in such a state of disarray and chaotic newness, but were turned away by the Good Baron and teams of adventurers.

A noble visitor:

A moment of seriousness aside for the nobles in town – Lord Asmodeus of Niman visits to discuss trade relations, since Niman is only 10-15 miles or so away and the largest trade road runs right through Southgate.

Let the Games Begin:

Organized by Flanowa and Celeste, a series of games and glee were sponsored much to the merriment of many adventurers. To start the events, they begin with a poker tourney, entered into with 11 adventurers.

But wait! Somewhere in the second or third round they are joined by another – Jack, and his companion, Harley Quinn. Though Jack smells of something strange and looks distinctly Macabre, in order to keep the peace and hope for help, he is allowed to join at only a slight deduction to his chips.

Fortunately for the players involved, adventurers streamed into the tavern and destroyed him, whereupon he crumbled into dust – giving a large chip lead to Robin the Fair, who proceeded to win all of his money that he left behind.

Indeed, it was Robin who then proceeded to rake it all in – winning first place and a pot of money that was, in her words, “too much for me to count,” and seconded by Eloe, a hero of heroes this event as this was his first time playing Elysian Hold-em. In third place came Grendoff Thorin, revealing he has many hidden talents besides casting and smithing.

And yet:

Not everyone had a good time during that poker game – A few misled adventurers interpreted the greenlaws to include the lizardmen, and when these scaley folk learned of their brethren being murdered, they savaged the town. It was only Zipper’s walls of force that kept the gamers in the tavern safe, but the rest of the town died in droves defending the populace, including, yet again, Squire Ethir, who, by the end of the gather, had lost his life four times to this wild town in two months.

The good Baron Mikael was captured in this encounter – and returned, on the condition that no-one was to harm another lizardman, and to do so would be an act of sedition and treason, by baronial decree.

It’s so hard to find good help these days:

Two mercenaries sought aide from the townsfolk in order to carry a load of goods through town – on the condition that no one check the contents and no one ask any questions. On the way through the entire party was stopped by a band of some very good-looking women, who insisted on payment for safe passage and good conduct. Captain Decoy was at the forefront, and began to loudly remonstrate and chastise the women for creating a blockade, and after only so long of this, all diplomatic relations fell to pieces and the women attacked. They were killed or taken hostage, and returned to town for further questioning.

Play ball!

A turnip farmer named Barry approached timidly, saying he had found dryads in the woods who were meekly requesting aide. A few young adventurers – Robin, Corwin, Drakis, and Pype -- decided to join up and help these lonely little forest creatures. These tiny people were discovered hiding and pouting in a giant nest of twigs and branches they had brought together for shelter, greatly saddened by the loss of their precious ball to the goblins. They had been using this ball in order to restore harmony to the woods – repressing the undead creatures that had begun to creep about so much as of late. In accord, the four adventurers followed the obvious goblin trail to an open field, whereupon were found – surprise surprise – goblins, playing with the ball, swords at their feet. Quick-thinking, the adventurers offered to play ball, approaching with open, empty hands, and telling the goblins that swords would only get in the way. After Robin picked up all the goblin weapons off the ground in order to “make room for the game,” the other adventurers chose to completely obliterate the then un-armed creatures. They recovered the ball, and returned it to the dryads, who had nothing but thanks to give.

As a side note, this ball was later returned back to the adventurers – broken, which may not have boded well for the town since it was conjectured to be one of the few things holding back the tides of undead, yet still useful since it was in fact the Ball Bearing sought by the airship people.

Night Falls:

Welcome to the randomness of the evening, with ogres rampaging, a woman screaming as she rifts in and out of existence, followed by a nightmarish creature of spiny proportions. Assassins lurk in the woods, cherry-picking adventurers if they wander off too far alone. Both the good Baron Mikael and Squire Ethir fell to these death-flinging criminals.

They keyed my cabin!

These same ninja-types who caused death and mayhem to the lonely and alone, also snuck sneakily through town, warding each and every cabin they could, effectively locking out many of the adventurers, leaving them to sleep in the woods, or huddled in the cabin of Flanowa and company, who had already a warded cabin and thus avoided that whole mess. Indeed, though it seemed a random act of sheer buggery, the wards served a purpose for those rogueish types – it wasn’t until late the next day that it was discovered that many of the cabins had also been robbed, pillaged of money and sundry goods, including the entirety of goodwoman Robin’s accounts, a sum rumored to be around at least 240 gold. Robin lamented the loss, if only for the little children, as she had verily intended to send the money back to the orphanage which raised her, to encourage other lost little ones to grow up strong and bold. Alas, tiny mouths will go hungry thanks to the likes of these.

Just for Blitz and Giggles:

Diplomatically, the nobility in town sent a missive to the barbarians asking for help, in hopes that they would send the oft-dreaded giggleblitz to aide the townsfolk into regaining entry into their cabins. A discussion that morning of what exactly a giggleblitz is (for more information, see the June 605 issuance of The Dedicated Rose), and it was also revealed that if you feed a giggleblitz too much magic, it will vomit up everything it has eaten, including deaths and dragonsbreaths and all other things too nasty to count.

Eloe the Hero:

More firesnakes writhed into town, coiling vituperously and attacking people. Flanowa allowed free entry into the fighter tourney to any who could defeat one solo. To the sound of townsfolk chanting his name, Eloe fought valiantly and amazingly, and destroyed the head of the fiend, winning his entry into the tourney.

Lizardmen are our friends:

Timidly under the new covenant, a couple of lizardmen sought the help of travelers in order to secure a ritual plate that had been looted from them by barbarians in the many battles between the two factions. Although it found them between a rock and a hard place (for they still needed barbarian help in securing the giggleblitz, but had been ordered to do no harm to lizardmen) a bold few made the trek, forayed into the woods, finding a lost barbarian, who used his great barbarian skills to query the wind for direction back home. The Summer Heat camp was in complete disarray – a pile of loot and mess and just complete dirtiness, and the team went through several attempts to find the right plate, as there were many plates around, most still crusted over with half-eaten food. Finally, they secured the missing item, along with a few other choice materials (including an ornate and strange mirror), and in payment the entirety of the barbarian tribe was offered jewelry, barbarian’s choice, from the stock and stores of Reasonable Robin’s Mercantile Extravaganza.

The lizardmen also gave rewards for the return of the ritual plate, and all breathed a sigh of relief at the peaceful resolution of a prickly situation.

Rowena, niece of Zipper:

Despite her uncle’s objections, Miss Rowena is engaged to marry Lord Asmodeus, but only on the condition that she remain away from him for more than 31 days. Some foul play is suspected afoot, but all is hoped to be corrected by a little time and patience.

Thank you, GB:

The barbarians stormed into town, demanding to know why the cabins are all warded, and given their hatred for celestial magic, it was hard to explain without provoking them that the town had been attacked. In their rage, they began to chant, “One who comes! One who comes! One who comes!” and then as one, dropped to a knee, and out popped the Giggleblitz, a little bundle of magic-devouring joy. In almost comical fashion, many townsfolk fled before this creature, who deals the most minuscule amounts of damage, yet drains the very magic surrounding any thing. It ate the wards on the cabins, hungrily, and was kept away from the Earth Circle again. Eventually sated, it wandered off, accompanied by its barbarian worshippers.

Five Touch to the death:

Not only were townsfolk involved in Flanowa’s tourney, but allowed entry also were both barbarians and lizardmen. Here we met barbarians from the Autumn Wind tribe, denoted specifically by the rust and yellow warpaint adorning their faces and chests. Given the strained relations between the barbarians and lizardmen, it was agreed that when a barbarian fights a lizardman, it will be to the death, however, the adventurers will abide by the rules of 5-touch.

The lizardmen and barbarians aside, the rankings fell as such:

Fourth place: Claneghdin

Third place: Corwyn

Second place: Eloe

First place: Mateaus

The man of your dreams:

Randomly in and out, a woman phased into existence, screaming, frightened, and then phased out again after running only a short distance. She was followed by a nightmare elemental, who brought with him dire wolves and something only described as a “large spiney thing.” In a moment of quick wit (although whose wit it is hard to say), Lord Dathras threw down a circle – a tiny, tiny circle that could only fit himself and the young woman. Thus protected (indeed, you couldn’t have wedged a feather between the two of them, much less an entire nightmare elemental), it was determined that a great travesty was occurring down by the altar. Women were being sacrificed to create nightmare creatures, unacceptably, and to the end of destroying this threat, nearly the whole town trekked down the switchback trails to the scene of a woman, bound and gagged, on each altar, covered in blood, draining the life from their bodies. The spiney things abounded, and in an act of sheer lunacy, Claneghdin charged… and promptly was spelled to sleep. Thereafter a fierce battle raged, but good triumphed again and again, and the vicious enemies were vanquished.

In the heat of the afternoon:

Second games of the afternoon by Flanowa was a water-sack toss. As if called by the heaving tides of water tossed between adventurers, a portal appeared, and the same as the last gather, water elementals streamed out, encouraging us to play with their young. A thoroughly good and soggy time was had by all.

Those things are bad for you:

In the meantime, the last of the items for the SpaceJammer airship had been recovered (the sail had been taken from the back of a goblin claiming to be the BatMan – a claim we know is false, because clearly Captain Decoy is the BatMan), and a few adventurers took it upon themselves to go find the crew of that airship to inform them their items were being held in town. These adventurers had been instructed earlier that the airship would be easy to find, since it was nested neatly inside a smoking crater that formed when it crashed. They trekked up the road, following the lines of smoke wisping into the sky, but encountered a slight problem. On the path between them and the crater was a horde of death knights and other sundry unpleasantries. These adventurers, finding themselves ill-equipped, chose to turn heel and walk calmly back into town to inform the nobility of the infestation… and were spurred to walk faster by the gleeful cackle of some devious undead creation.

Needless to say much of the town turned out in order to stamp out this threat, and quickly obliterated these foul creatures. The Good Baron was seen rummaging through the debris of the surrounding area, whereupon he discovered the skull of a small elven child. As soon as he unearthed this and held it up, those around him of the pointy-eared persuasion suddenly felt extremely ill – as in, Burning Plague extremely ill. With alacrity, those were quarantined, and the good Baron took the skull away from all to whom it could do harm. Apparently only an area effect, once the skull was removed from the area many of those stricken soon felt better

In a panic-inducing moment, Squire Ethir, who had felt the effects of the skull, suddenly felt a throbbing pain in his chest. He stumbled, crying out, and those who recognized the signs grabbed whom they could and began to drag them off back towards town. It is well-known that brood, who will nest indefinitely inside a host, when feeling threatened by disease or plague are prone to hatching suddenly. However, it was only a false alarm, as Ethir did not die a third time this weekend to the tiny danger embedded deep within himself.

Riddle me this:

Appearing in town was a most jovial man, dressed in green and with a dashing hat, asking for volunteers for a game of riddles. A crowd quickly formed around him, many eager to join the game (although at who-knows-what cost. It really is a wonder that many of them are allowed outside the asylum). A small band of adventurers was chosen (notably including Baron Mikael and Squire Ethir), and they were taken away from this land to the land of Arcadia (as recognized by Flanowa), and a small cabin in a vast field of strange.

By virtue of riddle-answering, the adventurers proceeded through the maze, each riddle advancing them a step further, and it is only at the last that they first became stumped. The final riddle, as follows:

There once was a king with a beautiful daughter, whom he wanted to marry off. He decreed that whosoever shall fill a room, should be his daughter’s husband. Her first suitor filled the room with gold, to prove his worth. The king declared that though he was wealthy, it did not prove his worth. The second man filled the room with feathers, to demonstrate his grace. The king decried that though the man had grace, he was not fit to marry his daughter. The third man entered the room with two items, one in each pocket, and still managed to fill the room. What were the items, and what did he fill the room with?

It took the team several tries – and each failure meant one less person there to help solve the riddle. In the end, the answer was thus: He had a flint and a candle, and filled the room with light.

A wedding and countless funerals:

In the still of the night, a young girl wandered into town, claiming to be the daughter of a corn farmer – she was killed by a golden unicorn, on the premise that there are no corn farmers around. In the night, much is suspect. When she was resurrected, she admitted to being the daughter of a mercenary… and one thing leads to another, and suddenly Captain Decoy approaches the tavern, delegating a task force to set up for a wedding – a wedding between Lord Zeal and the mercenary’s daughter.

Lord Zeal himself is suddenly nowhere to be found… and Captain Decoy stands in as the best man to marry the girl. However, before the ceremony can even begin to begin, there are screams from without the tavern, and suddenly appearing the doorway, chasing after two nobles, are severe and large undead creatures – calling their leader Mish-tal-ray (although not the Mish-tal-ray) seeking after “Baron Doggie.” The Baron, protected by a circle, watches intently, conversing little. Claneghdin rushes the undead… is killed… and created as an undead creature himself. The villains leave the tavern, the baron gives chase, and everyone else flees into the night.

It’s a bloody massacre. The earth circle is soon flooded with spirits and scared adventurers alike. Lord Zeal is there, helping whom he can, but to little avail. In a flash of light, a succubus, tailed by the mercenaries daughter, rifts in, grabs Lord Zeal, and vanishes out again. The Baron et al are too slow to catch him before he is stolen. Outside the earth circle, he was held hostage – but only briefly. Refusing to leave the protection of the circle, the good Baron and Squire Ethir knew that to leave meant they all would die. In the end, Lord Zeal was murdered for their inaction.

Quotable quotes:

It is terrible to leave a place on such a somber note… but that is the feel and livelihood of the town. However, here are a few moments of levity throughout the gather:

“We’re Adron. We’re bigger than everybody.”

– Lord Zeal

“You’ve got his back? I’ve got the enemy’s back then. I can hit them harder there.”

– Captain Decoy

“Why yes, Lord Dathras is a man of fashion.”

- unkown

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 19:56:53 GMT

---‘-,-@ The Dedicated Rose @-,-‘---

dedicatedrose AT yahoo DOT com

June 14, 605

Welcome to Southgate!

Located just north of Hag Hill, the town is as yet uncivilized, a simple road town on a heavy trade route. Great vistas of rolling swamps, overrun by barbarians and greenlings greet the eyes. Swamplights wander across the open muck, twinkling merrily. Townsfolk hurry across the newly formed villa, hauling sundries and works to build up this frontier town. The sun burns hot and fierce, causing muggy mists to rise from the earth, giving the day a hazy glow. Great and wondrous smells waft from the new tavern, The Winking Vagabond, drawing many adventurers near. As night falls, townsfolk can be seen boarding themselves up inside their humble homes, spurred by the sound of wolves howling across the murk.

The town’s first encounter: A horde of greenfolk run through town, smashing doors and knocking people around, screaming wildly about the idiocy of the green laws Baron Mikael has put into effect (although they didn’t express themselves so coherently – for more information check the trees to fully review all the laws in effect in Southgate). Several people of note have chosen to attend this gather, including the local lord of Hag Hill, Lord Zeal, as well as Zipper, accompanied by his steel golem. Baron Mikael and Lord Dathras can also be spotted. Lady Gehenna accompanies her crew as well.

Also of interest, Diabolous Evermore XIII of the Bear and Wolf who

was obliterated by Lord Zeal, has therefore served his sentence to the Kingdom of Evendarr and subsequently free to walk the lands again.

Rumours of a Giggleblitz fly around town, making those who rely on magic shudder in appreciation for a creature that feeds and strengthens itself only on that essence. It is said that if you do not engage it, it will not directly attack you, but that there is still as of yet no known way to defeat one (or if there is, it’s a closely held secret by an abysmally small group of people).

Night falls, and the howling of wolves brings adventurers out into the open. A horde of undead creatures draw many up the roads, whereupon they are viciously attacked by wolves, undead, and vampires casting charms (all precluded by a visit from a single vampire by the name of Jezebel, who made mention of friends and family in the area before she was thoroughly whacked). This encounter leaves the town more scared than ever, because on this first night somewhere between nine and twelve people died trying to fight the vampires, including Squire Ethir, Cade Blackbird, and even Baron Mikael. It was a somber note for many, the realization of such danger in such a remote town.

Lord Zeal is forced to make an announcement concerning reinforcing the restrictions against celestial magic, and thereafter the night dwindles into a series of random encounters and people toddling off to bed.

Day Two: Meet the local barbarians, who are almost well-educated, given that there are some even able to read (and have read the laws set forth by Baron Mikael). They are most displeased by even the littlest use of celestial magic (or big sky magic, as they call it), but tolerate it in small amounts – barely. There are seven tribes in this area, forming one large clan, and the town is subjected to visits from persons of the tribe of the Rising Sun, and persons from the newly formed (and all-male) Summer Heat, a tribe somehow affected by that mysterious figure, Mish-to-ray. The Rising Sun clan can be spotted by their red war-paint, the Summer Heat sporting blue, and then the last figures to be seen are the tribe of Falling Stars, who wear blue and silver proudly. A most noted figure of this tribe is Winter Storm, the high shaman, who is also the oldest shaman of all the tribes (at an undisclosed age, but rumored to be as old as his tongue and a little older than his teeth). He spent some time talking to Lord Zeal, a conversation especially concerned with the Giggleblitz, called by the barbarians The One Who Comes, and serves as their totem.

By this time, the Giggleblitz had already been seen, and well-fed by the townsfolk. It consumed two wards, and was tossed small magicks until it was happily full and wandered off, but not before threatening the earth circle, which would have been lost if not for the interjection of Winter Storm, who kindly and quickly informed the town that the Giggleblitz was heading in that direction. The Giggleblitz was quick, but fortunately the local adventurers were quicker. Otherwise, the Giggleblitz harmed no-one.

Many merchants passed through town, Zipper making sure at least one had a suitable escort, by the name of Duncan Applebrook, who was escorted by a few unseasoned travelers (Robin, Eloe, Captain Jalini, Gise, and Kiyas) who did their best to protect him, and were lucky to reach town with him alive. The other merchant, Montgomery Adelay, had a similar but slightly more weathered crew to escort him through town and out the other side. Both merchants bore goods of great use and interest, and profited greatly from their visit to a town desperately in need of supplies against the growing dangers.

Interesting Architectural Note: Near to the town can be found a large, glowing black square, surrounded by a flat, black metal plate that extends 20 feet in all directions, and looks like it was never meant to be moved. Inspection of the top of the block finds a bolted in metal grate, through which can be seen murky depths and pools of blood. There is a lot of sincere speculation about this structure, ranging from the idea that the vampires have been here all along and didn’t follow the Blackbirds here, to the thought that Ray simply took control of the few vampires and organized them into a real threat. Upon examination, Lord Dathras realizes that this block is exactly the same as those from Mish-to-ray’s tower, and from this it was speculated that it simply landed here after said tower exploded, and was being utilized by the incoming vampires. The block was nigh indestructible and very immovable, and left alone at that time.

In the afternoon lull, the heat became oppressive, and many adventurers began to shed their armor despite the ever-present danger. As if Those Who Control Our Fates could sense the overbearing and sweltering discomfort of their wayward charges, from a strange portal came a group of water elementals, bearing their younglings into the small realm for the purposes of training them. Though they took a few minimal dents to their armor or body, many adventurers happily helped the elementals, if only for the sake of getting thoroughly soggy and a bit cooled off.

Misfortune Strikes: The gypsy, Pouch, was carrying the Brick of Woe (a strong item capable of slaying vampires) when he was ambushed, and the precious brick was stolen by Ray (who is rumored to be a daywalker, which is as of yet unconfirmed). The town was filled with utmost dread, whose fears were only confirmed and worse as night fell and the vampires descended on the town. The sounds of fighting were rampant, and loud, moving through the town and surrounding areas as vampires swarmed across the lands, charming the adventurers and turning them against themselves. Many quivered, frightened, hiding and hoping not to be found, but many brave people faced the threat, although it would hardly be completely accurate to say that the town won, as many people died against the vampires, this night including Squire Ethir (again), Lady Gehenna, and Diabolous Evermore XIII of the Bear and Wolf. The gypsy Boris was also resurrected, upon which he admitted to having been charmed into destroying the Brick of Woe, much to many people’s dismay.

Amazingly, not one adventurer had to walk the long road, fading into the dark night of permanent spirit-hood, but for some it was a very close thing, only a hairs breadth and a bit of light glass from never being seen again and a town full of people somberly attending a funeral. Lord Zeal tended the earth circle, preparing long in advance for the onslaught of spirits he knew would come, and faithfully and kindly helped all who came to this circle.

It was, in short, terrifying.

On A Stranger Note: Once the vampires had cleared and the adventurers timidly walked through the night again, a man wandered into town and fell down dead. Upon prodding, the corpse exploded into a rain of gold and treasure, and yielded a peg-leg to Lord Dathras and Baron Mikael. The town then learned of a portal soon to be opening up, into which strange lands had warped some poor cows into weapons-bearing monsters. Many people entered the portal, and sure enough, hordes and hordes of mooing cows waddled across the fields of this land, swinging swords and staffs and all sorts of weapons that one would never guess an animal on all fours with no opposable thumbs should be able to hold, and yet despite this some warped version of the real world had allowed them to do so, and to do so with alacrity and strength, swinging grotesque amounts of massive power, and increasing in aggression the longer the adventurers stayed there. As the cows became disgustingly powerful, suddenly electrified to boot, the enormous cow king, a cow twice the size of a normal cow, mooed across the field, swinging twice the grotesque amounts of power as his peons. The travelers had been informed not to kill him, but managed to imprison him, at which point the cow king more or less erupted into fireworks, casting lightning storms into the crowd of people around him. A great call boomed across the land, “The ground shudders as Diablo walks the earth again,” at which point everyone decided it would be prudent to head back. Luckily no one died, but quite a few people lost their eyebrows before they all managed to escape back to town. It is doubtful that that portal will ever open again, but there are some who think they could manage it, and good luck to them on that.

A Bit of Gossip: Captain Jalini took some time to walk up the road, whereupon she was called to help a poor man sitting on his stoop. He was having a terrible time removing his shoes, after the hard work and wetness (for there had been many brief bursts of rain through the days) had shrunk his shoes and swollen his feet. The good captain took the time to free him from his shoeprisonment, and in return received a piece of jewelry, unknown to be magical, but told to her by the shoe-man that it was “the key to a magical place.”

Also, during the afternoon lull, two gentlemen by the names of Dane and Pouch could be seen exchanging backrubs. Some speculation was ventured about the nature of that relationship, but it was generally agreed that it was nice to see adventurers treating each other so kindly.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 15:01:12 GMT

Xanga

Welcome visitors! We'll soon be printing chronicles of our gathers here.
Until then, fair journies.

-Poisoned Thorn